By March 20, 2012, Debi Strong had reached her breaking point. After decades of struggling with depression, she couldn't take it anymore. "I was so confused, upset, and hurting,” she says. “I just felt like I was a burden to everybody."
She waited until her husband and youngest daughter left the house. Then she went into the bathroom and started taking small handfuls of pills. She kept taking them until she passed out.
When Strong woke up, she saw the faces of a doctor and hospital chaplain looking down at her. Instead of feeling grateful she'd survived, she was enraged and more depressed than before. "I was horrified that it hadn't worked," she says.
From Despair to Recovery
Strong's family brought her to The Menninger Clinic in Houston, TX, for treatment. During her 9 weeks there, she began to understand her depression – and herself – in a way she hadn’t before. Through one-on-one and group therapy sessions, activities, and classes, she discovered she could manage her depression with the right treatment and support.
"If I hadn't gone there, I know I would not be alive today," she says.
Five things were key to her recovery. She recommends them to anyone who's been diagnosed with major depressive disorder (MDD):
Medication. Fluoxetine (Prozac) is an antidepressant that works well for Strong, but she's taken it on and off, over the years. Right before her suicide attempt, her mental health provider switched her to a different medication and her emotions went into a nosedive. "I'm on the same dose of fluoxetine now that I was put on originally [in 1989] because that's what seems to work with my body best," she says. But she stresses that everyone responds differently to these medications.
Therapy. A professional can help you talk through your problems and challenges. Strong recommends finding a therapist or psychiatrist who you can work with and who makes you feel comfortable. "Otherwise, you're wasting your time and your money," she says.
Coping skills. "I really didn't have any, other than staying busy and working, which aren’t great coping skills," she says. With your therapist's help, you can learn helpful tools such as mindfulness, meditation, or other mind-body practices to keep you grounded.
Support. "It's very lonely being depressed. You think that nobody else could possibly be feeling as bad as you do," says Strong. Surround yourself with people who understand how you feel. Joining a depression support group can help you realize you're not alone.
Work. Treatment won't help if you don't put in the effort. "You have to have some sort of a spark that gives you the ability to do those things, to take your medication and go to the therapy appointments and use the coping skills,” says Strong. “Without the work, it's really hard to feel any better."
One of Strong's most important realizations was learning she couldn't find a way out of major depression by herself. "You can't get to the point of being in a better, more recovered, and manageable situation without help," she says.
Helping Others
Once she found the support she needed to recover, Strong decided to pay it forward. She looked for a depression support group after being discharged from Menninger. But she was disappointed with what she found.
"It was just people sitting around, moaning about what was going wrong that week," she says. "Whoever could talk and complain the loudest did, and everyone left more depressed."
Strong decided to start a support group of her own. In the fall of 2013, she launched a depression support group at a psychiatric facility near her home in Bigfork, MT. It continues to meet today. It’s helped many members stay alive and out of the hospital. "There have been a lot of people who have come in and gone through it and survived," she says.
She urges anyone who’s thinking about suicide to quickly find someone who cares about them – a friend or trusted therapist – to get them the help they need. Or call or text 988, anytime day or night, for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
A Marathon, Not a Sprint
Depression isn't a quick fix. Strong likens recovery to dancing the cha-cha. You take two steps forward and one step back. "It's not necessarily that you're losing progress because you get a little farther each time," she says.
Though she hasn't had an episode of major depression since 2012, her bouts of sadness still come and go. When they show up, she now knows how to recognize them and when to ask for help.
To support her recovery, Strong began journaling about the things in life she's grateful for and creating colorful art to express feelings (like courage and compassion) that bring her joy.
Strong has new wisdom gained from hard work and self-awareness. Her advice for those struggling with major depression: "Plan that it's going to be a learning experience and [that] it's not a short-term process. It's long-term," she says.
Know that you’ll have good days and bad days. The bad ones will bring darkness and gloom that may feel like they'll last forever. They won't. Remember a time when life was good. Have faith that it can be that way again.
"The sun is above those clouds,” says Strong. “Whether you can see it or not, it's there."
Show Sources
Photo Credit: EyeEm/Getty Images
SOURCES:
Debi Strong, 68, depression patient and support group leader, Bigfork, MT.
Cleveland Clinic: "Clinical Depression (Major Depressive Disorder)."
